This is an excerpt of an actual job posting in Craigslist, Los Angeles, CA, –bold highlights are mine.  The font in green is merely my opinion.  Feel free to add your own.

Graphic Design Intern (Part Time) – Unpaid

Cliir.com is a one stop online store that offers a variety of home, personal care, household and pet items without toxins or fillers and uses its proceeds to give back to those in need. Cliir.com was founded on the belief that everyone should have the ability to make healthy lifestyle choices and shop with local vendors. We live for pure, clean and toxin-free products. And our business model was built on three goals to make buying these products easy and attainable for all: making products affordable, convenient, and accessible.  ( Notice  their belief does not seem to be in paying people to work for them so that their employees can also afford to make healthy life style choices and afford to shop.  It seems to me that only the homeless need apply.)

We are looking for part time graphic design interns for Spring 2013.  Interns will have the opportunity to work (for FREE!) with professionals  (part of the definition of a professional is that they are PAID for their skills and work. ), work with a startup, and help in all aspects of the industry. This promises to be great experience in an exciting industry.  (If you don’t starve in the process.  Notice they do not offer part ownership should the business succeed to all their wildest expectations) Commitment is approximately 10 hours per week and interns will work remotely for the most part.  ( They do hope that you can afford to pay the rent and electric bill so as to support their business.  They won’t even give you a comfortable chair and a place to get off the street.)

(And this is how they define the “intern” who “works for free:) Requirements:
Must have previous experience in Media, Marketing, eCommerce, Public Relations, Advertising, Communications, or Technology. (What!  They want people with a lot of experience?  I thought the purpose of internship was to gain experience.)  Must be detail-oriented and driven. (Sounds like they want an extensive resume.  I thought the purpose of internship was to pad their resume.) Must have a strong track record of strategic and creative successes in previous role(s).  (Not only a resume with substantial documented experience-but they want a strong track record.  Why would a creative with a strong rack record need to gain experience as an intern???????) Must be comfortable working in an environment that calls for tremendous creativity. (Hopefully these tremendously creative people want to join the ranks of Rembrandt and Van Gogh and other tremendously talented artists who died penniless and unappreciated.) Must have the ability to meet deadlines, multi-task, and provide attention to detail with a high degree of accuracy in a fast paced environment.   ( I guess that means if I have a chance to get a paying job, they would still expect me to meet their deadlines instead????)

Photoshop and Illustrator skills are needed.   (Lets not forget the technical skills needed for this non paying position of great opportunity)

Some knowledge of Flash, HTML and CSS is a great addition.  (How nice.  -see the joke about the Southern Belle on this one)

Dear intern– they  will pay you nothing to do all the following….

Projects will include:
– Photoshop Tasks
– Visual Website Design & Content
– Logos, Posters, & Banners
– Content Creation for Social Media
– Photo touch-ups
– Editing various projects
– Strategically planning future campaigns with executives

Please submit resume and at least 2 examples of prior design work

This position is unpaid (college credit ok).

(unfortunately you will have to pay to for your college credits.  And if you’ve already raked in a large student debt so that you can learn all of the above- too bad) Cliir hopes (no guarantee) to create opportunities for the right candidates to grow with us and expects this position to expand in scope and responsibility.   (Two times zero is zero;  Twenty times zero is zero.  More responsibility???  Notice there is no hint that they ever plan to pay you for your skills.)

Position can start ASAP.

(You too can join the ranks of the homeless.)

(Photo by Dorothy Lange: Migrant Mother)